Whether it should be taken by the elderly
The elderly show their children more love for their children, unconditionally satisfy their children’s needs, and can tolerate their children’s nature. The children’s spiritual environment is extremely relaxed, without pressure, and extremely free, providing them with opportunities to imitate and explore.
However, from the parents who can not replace the child’s psychological needs, the child’s emotional attachment to the parents can not be satisfied, so that the intergenerational education is not satisfactory for the child’s character development.
The influence of intergenerational education on children’s personality 1. It is easy to over-indulgence and indulgence, making children too “self-centered”, affecting the development of self-consciousness, forming a selfish, self-willed bad character.
When the child has unreasonable demands, the elderly will adopt obedience in an overlapping manner. The party that satisfies the needs is not conducive to the child’s awareness of overcoming the “self-centeredness”. If the child has a mistake, it cannot be corrected in time, and the child’s unreasonable desire will be unprincipled.The satisfaction of the parents, unless the parents try to change, there is the role of the umbrella of the old man, the child has no fear, a little dissatisfaction will burst into tears to meet the non-point requirements.
2, the elderly have more alternatives and protections, hindering the development of children’s independent ability.
The ratio of ancestors to the replacement is obviously higher than that of the parents. Imagine: the toys are scattered everywhere, the old people are tired of sorting over and over again; when the children have already walked, the grandparents have to take up and down the stairs; when the children are eating, they worry that the children can’t eat, just take a bite.Feeding one by one, or chasing and rushing to feed. This kind of practice just binds the child’s hands and feet, misses the sensitive period of “self-organizing, returning to the original, eating by yourself”, which leads to the slow development of children’s movements and independence.Poor, lose confidence when encountering difficulties, only yelling and waiting for others to help, not trying, exercising, only crying and losing temper.
3, intergenerational education is easy to annihilate children’s natural curiosity, risk-taking and innovative spirit.
The old people are vulnerable to traditional ideas, accepting new things slowly, and the concept of education and parenting is relatively lagging. The thinking patterns and lifestyles formed over the years are not easy to change.
They want their children to be well-behaved, obedient, steady, not out of the ordinary, not good at using science, and creating ways to guide children.
Adventurous and innovative inquiry behaviors such as “disorder” and “destruction” that occur in children’s curiosity are always eager to stop.
For example, when a child catches a few ants to enter, when the child pulls up the orchid in the pot to see that the root is a certain kind of child, when the child is happily demolishing the toy car, the ancestors will always prevent and violate.
Because, in their consciousness, playing ants is very dirty, pulling flowers is confusing, and placing a perfect toy car can’t be “destroyed”.
They believe that these special practices of children are bad behaviors and must be corrected immediately.
Imagine how a child who grew up in this family environment can develop a personality that is innovative and innovative.
4, the lack of education awareness of the old people and improper education methods, it is easy for children to form friendly contacts and excellent quality (such as modesty, love labor).
5, easy to lead to children’s narrow vision, lack of vitality, psychological aging.
The values, lifestyles, knowledge structure, and educational methods of the ancestors are more or less different from those of modern society.
Most elderly people are older, prefer to be quiet, do not like sports, and do not like to go out.
Children and grandparents get along with each other for a long time, and they have long been shackled by the living space and alternation of the old people. The words and expressions of the old people are all the words and deeds of the elderly. If you open your mouth and say that it is an adult, it is easy to lose the innocent and naive nature.
In addition, less outing activities, resulting in small amount of exercise, lack of physical exercise, will cause physical weakness and illness; resulting in less knowledge at home, less exposure to new things, may lead to children’s narrow vision, cause vitality, do not dare to face strangers,Do not handle transactions by themselves.
Serious will cause the child to be narrow-minded, stubborn, retreat, psychologically aging, and so on.
Intergenerational education will have some impact on the development of children’s personality. What should young parents do?
The key is how to use its length to avoid it.
The two generations of unified thinking and understanding have significant differences in the environment and age of birth and growth, and the two generations will naturally have considerable differences in the issue of educating their babies.
For example, the younger generation may pay more attention to infant intellectual learning and personality development. They often pass more knowledge to the baby, give him more freedom, and let him explore freely. The ancestors pay more attention to moral education and may give it to the baby.More constraints.
In the matter of educating the baby, the two generations should try to calm down and communicate more. Only by understanding them in a unified way can they avoid the differences in the face of the baby and prevent him from using this kind of disagreement to ask parents or grandparents to cause more problems.
Parents should try to ask more ancestors for more moderate communication, and ancestors should use various channels to accept new ideas, learn new knowledge, and arm themselves with scientific and advanced educational concepts.
Find the right balance point ancestors in the raising of the baby is best to use the rational control of feelings, to distinguish the boundaries between love and love, love moderate.
Parents also have to balance the boundaries between freedom and rules, and cannot give freedom and lack of rules.
Otherwise, a ruleless environment does not help the baby to develop better. On the contrary, a lack of rules will bring more insecurity to the baby.
In addition, it is easy for ancestors and fathers to compete for the baby’s love, and the phenomenon of parenting is embarrassing.
The baby is essentially an independent individual and does not depend on anyone.
Therefore, both ancestors and fathers should calmly look at the baby, actively create opportunities, give the baby more opportunities to reach out to other members of the family, and strive to create a harmonious and warm family atmosphere that is conducive to family education.
Take the necessary responsibilities Young parents should take more time to spend with their babies no matter how busy they are. Don’t use the excuse of being busy, and give the baby the right to education and custody to the ancestors.
If parents have a long-term psychological need for their baby to be with their parents, his mental health will be affected. For example, the baby may become very insecure, lack trust in the surrounding environment and the population, and thus obtain parents.More attention, he may also have more problem behaviors, so that parents have a headache. Experts especially reminded that when the father and the ancestors split on the issue of educating the baby, it is best not to be in conflict with the baby.
The baby is small, but he is a natural diplomat. When he sees a split between family members, he will be smart.
This is no doubt to improve his behavior, but it will lead to his problems getting worse and worse, and even bring more problems.
In addition, conflicts between family members, the unharmonious family situation will bring more insecurity to the baby, which has an adverse impact on his psychological development.